Wednesday, August 28, 2013

I Need Ears To Hear


Every time I have sought the Lord over the last several years concerning some difficult circumstances or needed direction I have heard Him say clearly only one thing.  I confess that every time He says it to me it frustrates me!  He doesn't tell me what I want to hear!!!  I am at times utterly perplexed and despairing (see 2 Cor 1:8).  I rant at Him "Just tell me what to do and I will do it!"  Ever been there?  

So what is it He keeps telling me?  "I am with you."  That's it!  I know, right?!?!  But maybe in my rantings and frustrations I am missing something. Maybe...just maybe, He is whispering to me the greatest thing that He could possibly say.  To know that I am not alone.  To know that I have not taken some wrong turn at some point.  To know that my Jesus Whom I love more than anything or anyone is with me...and He keeps having grace upon me to remind me of that.  After all the ways I have blown it.  All the times I have betrayed Him, disappointed Him...He is with me.  And if He is with me, then He loves me and is leading me whether I feel it or not.  He is holding me in His nail-scarred hands.  Shouldn't that be enough? After all, when I answered His call to "Preach the Gospel" my answer to Him was "Yes, as long as you're with me"  (Actually it was "HAHAHAHA, You're crazy or I am!  But if this is really You, then yes as long as you're with me")  Maybe He is simply reminding me of that moment of beginning over and over again.  How about that...while writing this I just thought of that. Heh. Cool.  He is with me.  It is enough.

  

Monday, August 12, 2013

My Last Conversation With My Grandma

(This was posted a month before my Mimi went home to be with Jesus. I didn't know it would be my last conversation with her)

So I just spent some time talking to my Grandma, Lois Wilson or as we call her, Mimi (Great-Mimi for my kids).  She is 89 yrs old.  She has always been a strong independent woman and follower of Jesus.  About 9 months ago she got sick and almost died.  It led to a chain of events where she now has to live in an assisted care facility after almost 30 years of living on her own. (My Grandpa died back in the 80's)  Anyway, she is thanking God for her new circumstances.  Why?  Because she has clear eyes and a full heart.  Instead of complaining about her loss of independence and all that is associated with that, she is filled with joy over this new leg of her "journey with the Lord," her new missions field.  Through loving relational evangelism she is sharing Jesus with everyone around her.  From those that work at the facility to those that are also living there.  She is also celebrating her increase of personal intimate times with the Lord through meditation, prayer and worship.  

And so it makes me wonder if in the sunset of my days I will still be excited about my journey...If I will still have clear eyes to see the opportunities that the Lord puts in front of me to tell others of Him.  I've had to do some repenting lately.  My eyes weren't so clear.  My heart not so full.  I lost sight of things in this current chapter of my journey.  Thank God for His grace and that my life can be lived "to the praise of His glorious grace."

Clear eyes, Full heart, Can't lose.